A love story to share

[jelaiastrologo]

Read on...long but nice.

This is a true story, taken from "Family"
Read it.. its very long but definitely worth reading...

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful
footsteps to our family.
Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful
moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as
destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late.

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of
asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years
with us.

Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young.
Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide
for him, see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal a! nd did everything
you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a
balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant
some greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and
started spinning round and round.

As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and
Enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me
Into his pockets.

Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would
pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender
and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside ! habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living
room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young
people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't
eat the flowers!"

I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will
Also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a
city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything.

But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would
Ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and
express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask
each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and
she would get even more upset about it.

Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just
don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the
breakfast.

In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?
At the breakfast table, mother facial _expression is always like the
dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her
silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted
from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of
that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a
deaf ear ! to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but
Soon her help created additional work for me.
For example; she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating
Them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being
Filled with all the trash bags.

She would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the
dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them
again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes,
and "Bam"
she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.

Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not
speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally
ignored me.
I got mad and a! sked him: "What did I do wrong?"
Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We
couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is,
right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak
to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the
house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to
who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother
Took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any
prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating
his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed
to perform my duty as a wife.

To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying
My own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:
"LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you
chose not to eat at home?"

He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling
of unfairness overwhelmed me. After sometime, hubby sighed: "LD,
just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I
felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing
up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't.
I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited
everything out.

Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling
Very &g! t; loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom
Doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us,
then
stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the
stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.

I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best
And putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply
Have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I
Was at the low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and
see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a
Sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.

Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before,
Thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there.
It had only been three days, but he looked haggard.

I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart
soften, Icouldn't resist and called out to him.
He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he
doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut
right through my heart.

I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.
At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside ! me to shout to my
hubby:
"Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin
Me round in circles of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears
Started rolling down.

Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the
Disgusted look in his eyes.
I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.

I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his
face. He was removing the money.
I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit
Book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave
Me for good.

What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave
A few dried! laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work.
I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.

I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and
said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock.
I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had
already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was
expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control
The tears in my eyes.
My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only
The occasional disgusted stare at me.
I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other
people.

That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed towards
The bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the
countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to
cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...

I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not
Thrown up
that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a
Strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self
Pity and could hardly breathe.
I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our
Baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words
I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.

I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thoro! ugh
scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by,
Hubby came home later and later.
The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like
strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his
heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass
window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very
lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant.
After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the
restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my
eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.

The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go,
Hubby stretched out his hand ! and stopped her.
He stared back at me, challenging me.
I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the
brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will
collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way
To indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each
other. He did not come home anymore after that.
Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the
Cupboard had been touched -he had returned to take some of his stuff.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain
everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks
Again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the
&! gt; physical examination.
My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I
Told them No, I will not.

I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying
mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room.
The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke.
On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper.
I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to
Find peace within myself.
I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will
sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry,
You cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears
Come out From there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging
tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards
me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and
pushed the paper to him.

"LD, you are pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me.
I could not control my tears any further and they fell like
raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."
He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.

Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.
In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I
sprint, I could never reach them.
I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had
originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.
! In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in
His eyes, I will never forget, ever.

We have drawn such deep scares in each other's heart.
For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized
now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some
warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat
anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I
stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love
Had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he
Walks in, I will walk out to the living room.
He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.
At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept
quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he
would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with
him, he would then grab me and laugh.

He has forgotten that last time; I cared for him and am concerned
because there is love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby
Was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant
products, children products and books that kids like to read.

Bag sand bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full.
I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no
Longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear him
typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to
web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one
late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came
rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting
for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my
hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brown, throughout the
journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the
delivery suite.
Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed
My mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watc! h me go in, his
Warm eyes
caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me,
His eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.
I reached out and touched his hand.

Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the
floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that
tired eyes of his...
I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the
Truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that
moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer,
it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed
to last this long.

I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer?
Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Pre! pare
For his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his
room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real,
and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote
for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at
You before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life,
You will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany
You throughout that journey, how nice would it be.
But daddy now no longer has that chance.

Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and
Problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these
problems, you can ref! er to daddy's suggestion... Son, after writing these 200
thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life
journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy.

Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you
Most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to
Work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small
was written there. Hubby has also written a letter for me:

"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the
Pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because
I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our
baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I
would smile, thank you for loving me...

These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally,
could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates
on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.
I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said:
"Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the
warmth of your arms..."

He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.
Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the
air.
I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang
thought the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...

...The end...

---

Sharing thoughts from my friend about this story:

Remember this, and keep it to your heart.
Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for
Coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into
staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it
comes to you..

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of
time. there are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and
love shouldn't be one of them."

“Love should not be conditional, for it only last on its own time. It should not be kept
As long as it is being felt, flaunt it. For it might fade or the one you are about to show it be vanished.”

“Showing love might cause other people to label you as hoodwink, overlook them. You are loving, fraud are those whom are not being deceive because of love.”

“You should not think twice when love strikes you. Doesn't matter what condition you encompass, as long as you feel love, nobody can impede you of fighting for the sentiment you have for somebody.”

[eigrihs123]

Thanks for posting Jelai

[jelaiastrologo]

You're welcome Shirg. Hope everyone will like this story. Personally, I love the story. It's so sad and touching...I felt like crying while reading. hehe

[trixie]

Whoa...it was such a long script jelai, but worth reading indeed. I almost cried.

[jelaiastrologo]

hehehe! yes Trix, a long story but indeed a worthy one.

[eigrihs123]

I hope other forum members will share the same story so all family will be inspired.

[zencontrol]

My eyesight becomes blurred while reading the story, not because it is long, but because of tears

[jelaiastrologo]

hehehe! thanks zen, glad you like it...hehehe